Perception is Projection - What We See in Others is a Reflection of Ourselves

Have you heard of the concept that people are our mirrors reflecting aspects of ourselves back at us? Carl Jung introduced the concept of 'perception is projection' to explain that what we perceive is who we are, which means we can’t perceive anything outside of ourselves that is not us. Perception is subjective and potentially unreliable as it's an unconscious process. Often, we make false assumptions about others based on our perception and then project onto them our own traits and feelings, which applies to both negative and positive qualities. Basically, when we get annoyed with someone, we might actually be irritated with ourselves, and when we appreciate others, it's often because we appreciate those same qualities in ourselves. The goal of this concept is not self-blame when someone upsets us, but to help us recognize opportunities for self-awareness, growth, and reduced emotional reactivity. Once we're consciously aware of our perceptions, we can choose to challenge them and identify what they’re trying to teach us. Next time you feel triggered, look at the person or situation with curiosity instead of judgment and ask yourself, "What is there to learn about myself from this situation, and how can I address it to reduce its emotional impact?"

For example, let’s say you’re not a parent and you happen to be in situations lately where you’ve been around children. You don’t consciously know of any issues that you have with children and usually you enjoy being around them, but lately you’ve noticed that you feel annoyed or lose your patience easily. You could decide to sit with these emotions and do some conscious introspection. Children are often unapologetically themselves and prioritize fun and freedom, are there areas in your life where you're not giving yourself permission to be yourself or you’re restricting your own freedom and joy? Remember, this perspective helps you understand more about yourself, not the other person or situation. It's about staying in control of yourself and recognizing that perception is projection in both directions, with others having their own lessons to learn. Can you imagine what it would feel like to be less emotionally reactive to something outside of you and instead recognize it for the learning opportunity it really is? People and situations are our mirrors and the more we understand and utilize this concept in our daily lives the more we grow into our most authentic self.